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[11 May 2005|06:13pm] |
New journal! Again!
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) i__never
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| Never coming home. |
[10 May 2005|03:57pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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My chemical romance - the ghost of you |
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( Read more... )
If I had to choose one word to sum everything up I think the word 'shit' would be most fitting.
Haven't really been feeling like myself the past couple days or so. Growing increasingly stressed over the whole college issue. It shouldn't be an issue, but my fucking conscience or whatever keeps stepping in to remind me of the damage that could be done. It seems selfish but it is my life, isn't it? The worst part about it is it has me somewhat divded. My feelings aren't any different about the one side, but I realized that I can't be totally apathetic about the others. I just don't want it to get to a point where I can't just turn and run, and there's no way I can talk to her about it. It's caused me to be super irritated lately, sorry.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/17996974/ Cute.
On top of that the pictures I took for the project did not turn out at all as I had hoped. I wanna completely wipe the idea and start over but I don't think there's time for that, and I can't think of anything. And I don't want to continue with I project that I can't stand, so i'm fucked.
Oh, and I owe the school $2.50 before they'll let me graduate. Hee.
Don't feel like dancing tonight, that's sad. Maybe i'll actually get the other 80 billion things done and taken care of.
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[09 May 2005|03:13pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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My Chemical Romance - skylines and turnstiles |
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So much to do and it's soo nice out, i'm just lacking in a car. Fanfuckingtastic.
Set my alarm for pm last night instead of am, so it never went off. That sucked. Today wasn't all that interesting, maybe I shoulda just slept in.
I'm beginning to think that I should keep things organized, that way I don't forget, but it's nearly impossible for me. I've realized there's a lot I need to do in a relatively short amount of time (possibly short budget, too). So here goes;
- license for harley
* parvo vax for harley (due last month. oops.)
* figure out day for placement exam, then figure out what car i'm taking (and maybe how the hell I find it, but emily should be going too so maybe I won't get lost)
- ticket
- duct tape for nathan's bag
- theatre monologue!
- portfolio stuff for advanced art
- maybe look into getting Salem a buddy. doubt it.
I know there were more. Fuck.
So um. Yeah.
( Random pictures )
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[04 May 2005|04:51pm] |
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( The wonders of tape! )
Completely duct tape. Took me..um..about two weeks in advanced art (40 min class periods, 5 days a week) minus a day or two. Not bad! Guess I should start on another. Someone suggested selling them. Hm.
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[03 May 2005|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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The Used - All that i've got |
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Sososo. Semi-awesome.
FINALLY came up with an idea for my photo book final thing. Not exactly sure if all parts of it are "school safe" so I was very vague on the storyboard and i'll just toss the fine details in later. But then, if artistic nudity is allowed then minor drug references should be fine too. Pff. So anyway, seems as if Lisa is gonna be my guinea pig for this one, just need a guy now. Hmhm. Volunteers would be fantastic.
Theatre was interesting. Got chased by a janitor because I was riding a bike through the hallways. Greatest thing ever. It had to get from point A to point B, no use pushing it. Great fun.
Hung out with Heather afterschool, she's awesome. Tried to find the computer store place in the village so we oculd buy bawls, that was an adventure. Drove around for a bit then drove down this driveway thing with these warehouses. Found the place, and the whole thing was really sketchy. Oh god, I said it. Anyway. In and out. Went to the wegmans in penfield because "it was closer"..only not. Bought stuff. Got food. Went to Staples to get a dry erase board because there's no way in hell i'm staying up all night drawing 80 kazillion pictures. There's some pretty interesting stuff there. Bought an exit sign just because.
And! I've decided that i'm dying my hair again. Fun stuff. Hopefully it comes out decent.
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[02 May 2005|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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music |
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Dashboard Confessional - As lovers go |
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Ee. Next month.
Was reading Emily's journal and I agree with the survey thing, I got to the part where you thank people and..it really hit me. I hate goodbyes, I really do, but then at the same time i'm looking forward to moving on. Agh. Made me think, and i'm kinda pathetic enough to admit that it kinda made me cry. Hmph. So i'll finish that tonight maybe and try not to think about it.
Theatre went well tonight, last evening show ever. Aww. So many endings. I know that the veryvery last preformance is gonna be hell, it was last year too when everyone else left us.
Starting to get stressed, there's still homework I need to get done. Failing advanced art, most likely failing modern art, and photo..well..I don't even wanna begin to think about it. Kinda disappointed, it's something that i'm supposed to want to do for a career and i've been so unfocused that I can't get anything done. That's more upsetting then not doing well in the other classes.
I um..may wanna think about graduation? Not even worth it now, don't need anything else to add on to the stress. Bleh. Killer headache.
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[02 May 2005|09:38am] |
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mood |
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screwed |
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( Another possible photo idea? )
In other words "I'm still not sure what i'm doing". Annnnd it's due in..4 minutes. Fuck. Cute song though.
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[01 May 2005|11:18pm] |
18!
Ha.
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| Hm. |
[01 May 2005|10:39pm] |
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Your #1 Match: ENFP
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The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. |
Your #2 Match: INFP
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The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Your #3 Match: ENTP
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The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor. |
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| Spinoffs with those who slept like corpses. |
[29 Apr 2005|08:17pm] |
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mood |
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lazy |
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music |
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Maynard and David Bowie - Bring me the disco king |
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Okay. So. This week has been pretty good.
Highlights of today:
- The awesomely bad striptease in theatre. Ohhh my.
- Lunch with Heather and John because they're mean and disgusting, making them awesome.
- Health class. Enough said.
- Duck.
Couple bad things. Harley completely annihilated my room yesterday because someone locked her in there for a day. Kinda funny in a way I guess. Um. There was other stuff but I can't remember/don't care.
Sooo. Tomorrow I need to do stuff. I think. I would have liked to take pictures for my photo project but uh..I seem to be lacking models at the moment? I need um, a least one or two girls and a guy kinda. Pleaseplease.
Annnd, I may wanna go dress shopping sometime soon? Haven't thought about it. That's a pain in the ass. Oh! And I wanna get bawlz, because not being tired is awesome.
I'm super, thanks for asking.
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| If i'm just bad news then you're a liar. |
[27 Apr 2005|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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I don't know |
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music |
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Taking Back Sunday - You're so last summer |
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Noo! Not Constantine! Oh fuck.
Anyway.
Very proud of my puppy, she raised holy hell in the kennel while she was there. There's hope for her yet! Went to pick her up and heard that she snarled and snapped at anyone who tried to get near her except for Kay, 'cause she kinda knows her. So I talked with the girls up front for a bit and they suggested that I just go back and get her myself instead of letting Steve (who is a friggin' pansy anyway) do it. Got mauled by a veryvery happy puppy. Aww. Now what sucks about the whole thing is the people never came to work on the basement today, and they're actually coming tomorrow but it's too late to board her again, and i'd feel guilty leaving her again. I'msuchadork. So mom and I argued about that for a bit, and while it killed the semi-decent mood I was in it gave me plenty of stuff to use against her in the future. Yay for that.
Kinda surprised that April's almost over. 32 school days, I think?
Still don't know what to do for my photo final thing, that's really not good. Decided i'm gonna take the art regents, too. Why the hell not. Lets just hope I don't get lazy and fuck it up. I need to do more art stuff, i've been slacking.
Fuck.
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| Oh yes! |
[26 Apr 2005|03:40pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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Burning Brides - Arctic snow |
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( Oh no! (Stole from Bethany. Mmyup.) )
I still need ideas for a theme for my photo book and I can't think of a single fucking thing. I NEEEED ideas, or Dankert will decapitate me.
Yeah, think that's it.
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| Say hello to the shrinking in your head. |
[25 Apr 2005|07:11pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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APC - Gravity |
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Guess first day back wasn't all that bad. Happy to see some people.
Was hit with a massive wave of nostalgia earlier which was kinda odd. For about an hour or so I really really missed some things, to a point where it was pretty depressing. Interesting though, I guess. Not even anything that specific or anything I really cared about too much but it's there anyway. Hmm. Random. Hopefully fleeting.
Lost enthusiam just out of the blue. I feel kinda guilty about it, but it's nothing I can help really. I don't know, i'm fine and everything and it's not worth dragging people around with, which kinda explains why i'm bothering to use this thing. Again, I feel bad. Okay so, something just made me laugh and things are a little better. I'm confused about being confused, somehow that makes sense. I don't see how I can be so insecure by some things when I know there's nothing to be bothered about. Or at least I think I know. Feeling kinda cynical, I guess. It'll pass! It usually does. Eventually. That and I guess eating is a good thing.
Anxiety, maybe. Extreme senioritis. Restless.
Fragmented, I know. Sorry.
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[23 Apr 2005|08:44pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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Tool - H |
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Well. Everything is done. All the packing, all the cleaning. Figures, now the fucking vacation is over with. Hafta get up early tomorrow for double shifts. Fucking exhausted, with no real chance of rest. Whoop de doo.
I can't even think, maybe that's not good. Heh, I think i've even blanked out of conversations with people without even realizing it. It's been that bad. Holy fuck..so tired.
I had something to say, I swear.
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[21 Apr 2005|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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APC - The noose |
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Another busy and stressful day. Lack of sleep and eating isn't good I guess.
Got 90% of the stuff moved, so it's almost over. I just want things to be settled down, it's driving me crazy. I'm so exhausted. Apparently I owe Sean 40 bucks or something for the new light thingy he's getting for my mom's car. Definitely not something I need right now. I'm hoping he'll give me time for that one.
Hm. I don't know. Too much.
 | You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.
In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.
Buddhism | | 79% | Paganism | | 75% | Islam | | 71% | Satanism | | 67% | agnosticism | | 63% | Hinduism | | 46% | atheism | | 46% | Judaism | | 42% | Christianity | | 29% | </td>
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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[20 Apr 2005|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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Eheh, cable people actually moved fast! They usually take their sweet time.
Anyway, we're pretty much all moved in, all that's left is a bunch of stupid things we probably don't even need. Moving wasn't as hard as i'd thought it would be, plus we had tons of help. Lin is awesome, she did a ton of moving. Did a lot of car hopping to get it done.
I'll skip stuff, not too important. My room is uber sexy, I ended up with the green room, but it matches my bed so we're good. ( Ooh. )
More skipping. I broke my mom's car. Went to take the boys somewhere and I was pulling out of the driveway, and I was looking for the garbage cans so I wouldn't hit them and as i'm backing up I say "I wonder if i'm gonna hit anyt--.." CRASHcrunchcrackle. I hit the fucking TREE at the end of the driveway. Of course they found it to be the funniest thing ever, and I was too surprised (and horrified) to get out and check. Totally smashed the back light and added a couple scratches and dents. Oops! Luckily my mom was fine with it, and even admitted she almost hit the tree earlier herself. I'm gonna be paranoid now about that damn tree.
So. Yeah. New house is nice. The end.
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[19 Apr 2005|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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fluffy |
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music |
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tv stuffs |
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Last night here! Tomorrow is gonna kick my ass. Not exactly looking forward to all the chaotic crap. But hey! It will at least be interesting. Erin wanted to help but I forgot to call her, guess it's too late now. Hmm. Picking up Lin tomorrow bright and early, she was funny enough to volunteer.
I'm still in a good mood. Lovelovelove.
Tired and not making a whole lotta sense, but it makes sense to me and I guess that works well enough.
Goodnight.
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[19 Apr 2005|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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The Killers - Midnight Show |
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Why must livejournal be such a whore?
( PSP experiments. )
Doubt they'll all show up, LJ likes to eat stuff that I cut. Fuckers.
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[18 Apr 2005|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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"Grin and bear it."
Today was one of those breaking days. Won't get into details but it involved much arguing and frustration. I left for a bit, and ti helped some. My grandmother called when I got back, and my mom was out somewhere. We talked for at least an hour, and she helped tons. Agreed with me on many things, but also tried to get me to see the other side of it which I was also aware of. Briefly hinted at some things, and she has been so amazingly supportive. At that point I was pretty upset, apparently my brother was too, I was upstairs in his room when I got home so I wouldn't know. She's coming by tomorrow to help. As optimistic as she tried to be about the whole thing she also tried being realistic, and that really sucked. So the rest of the week is most likely going to be horrible. Exciting!
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